Real jokes from patients

Doctor: "Do you have any allergies?"

Patient: "Yes! HOUSEWORK!"

------------

Doctor: "What is your occupation?"

Patient: "I'm a domestic engineer."

Doctor: "Huh?"

Patient: "You know, doing housework."

------------

Doctor: "Can you please say '99' every time I put my stethoscope on your back..."

Patient: "99, 99, 99, 99, 100!"